Apples

There's that thing out there that you want. It may be something small. It may be something huge. But we are not allowed that thing at this point in our lives for whatever reason God has. He is denying it to us and we hate being denied. We want it. We feel like He is keeping us from joy. I know you've felt that way before; we all have.

Elyssa and I have been listening to the Radio Plays of The Chronicles of Narnia lately. They are from Focus on the Family and are really good. They follow the books almost exactly. Being a voracious reader, I always want the book and movie (or radio play) to match up as closely as possible.

I love The Chronicles of Narnia. Each time I read them (or listen to them), I am overcome with the symbolism. I'm moved to tears quite often. Today, we were listening to the part in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe where Aslan is killed - huge tears came to my eyes when they were tying him up, beating him and shaving his mane. He just took it, with love. It was hard and it hurt, but he did it for Edmund. Just like Jesus did it for all of us. Beautiful.

Have you read the first one? It's called The Magicians Nephew. It tells about how Narnia was created. In it, Diggory Kirke (who later becomes Professor Kirke in LWW) has a sick mother. He is sent by Aslan to get an apple from a tree far away. When he gets there, the tree is surrounded by a high wall with a gate. The message on the gate says:

Come in by the gold gates or not at all,
Take of my fruit for others or forbear,
For those who steal or those who climb my wall
Shall find their heart's desire and find despair.

Diggory goes in to get the apple - he'd been invited by Aslan and of course used the gate. He plucks an apple and puts it in his pocket. The he hears a soft voice behind him. It's Jadis (who later becomes the White Witch in LWW). She's climbed over the wall and has eaten an apple. And she finds her heart's desire - she feels strength and eternal youth pour into her. She tempts Diggory with the apple, telling him to take it to his sick mother because it will make her well. It's all he's wanted - it's his heart's desire to see his mother get well. But Diggory realizes that his mother would not want him to lie or steal just to make her well so he takes the apple back to Aslan. He admits to Aslan that he was tempted. Aslan assures him that his mother would have gotten well, but that she would have hated her life. He says that the witch is already figuring out that length of days with an evil heart is only length of misery. He says, "All get what they want; they do not always like it."

Then Aslan asks Diggory to pluck an apple for his mother and to take it to her! Diggory gets his heart's desire on Aslan's timetable, not his own. If he had gotten it when he wanted it, it would have been horrible. He waited and it was worth it.

We have to remember that - God's time line is perfect. He knows best. We just have to believe it.

It's been kind of a hard few days for me. I want something right now. There are times when I get down and feel like it's being denied to me out of spite. Like God's keeping it from me because He wants me to suffer. Everyone else is getting what I want. He must be keeping it from me because I'm not good enough or I've done something wrong. I need a good swift kick in the butt so that I can realize how ludicrous that is! God knows best. He knows how much I want a man in my life. It's not the right time right now. The desire doesn't go away; maybe that means it is placed there by Him and it will be fulfilled at some point. God knows. I have to have faith.

I have two friends in my home group who send these devotionals out every once in awhile. If the devotional speaks to their heart, they send them on. I can't tell you how many times it is exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment. Well, I've been wanting to post this thing about The Magician's Nephew for quite a few days, but just haven't had time. Today I'm struggling more with my apple than I have in awhile. (I just want a date. Is that so bad? But God knows my heart - it's more than just a date that I want and I'm not ready for that yet. Drat.) Lisa sent a devotional today. Can you guess what it's about? It's about Eve and the apple in the garden of Eden. Please click here and read it for yourself.

I want my apple. It's denied to me right now, but that's because God knows it's not quite ripe for me yet. When the time is right, I'll get my apple.

You'll get yours someday too. God has promised.

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (NLT)

Ephesians 2:10, "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (NLT)