Overwhelmed

I love my job. I really do. But going back to work after being off for almost 3 months is killing me! We've got so many new things to do and no time to do it. Seriously. We have about 7 hours in the school day. Lunch and recess is almost an hour. Then specials is another 45 minutes. And we have to do PE every day for 30 minutes. So, let's see. . . that leaves us about 4 hours 45 minutes to teach 6 hours worth of stuff every day. It's craziness! And they changed our math program this year - and I love it. I really do. But it's so hard getting used to something new. And the needy parents are about to kill me. They don't come to "meet the teacher" and then get all uptight that they don't know what's going on in my room and that I don't know their children inside and out in the 2 weeks that I've had them! They assume the worst and become aggressive instead of just talking to me. It's so annoying. I put a stop to that one though. I worried about it a bit at first "oh no, they don't like me!" and then realized that I've taught for 15 years and I'm good at what I do. They need to get a life and realize I want what is best for their child too. They'll learn soon enough.

I feel like I'm losing myself sometimes. I feel like I should be doing more. I'm exhausted and want to sleep. But I had to get the kitchen cleaned up and now I'm sitting here writing instead of grading those darn papers that are already piling up. Plus, I need to make my healthy lunch and just don't want to. I doubt Elyssa is asleep yet. So it'll be another grumpy morning. I'm more grumpy than her sometimes.

Exercise? What exercise? With the dang knee giving me problems, I'm not getting much done. I went to the knee doctor and he says I have arthritis. ARTHRITIS! I'm 37 years old. He said we have to treat this aggressively or I'll be having a total knee replacement by the time I'm 50. Then I sat back and thought - HOLY CRAP! 50 is only 13 years away. Oh My Goodness! 13 years is like a blink of the eye. So I got the MRI done yesterday and will meet with him on the 23rd to see if there's also some tears in my cartilage. So surgery is still most likely in my future. I'm OK with that. As long as I can finish paying off my appendix, my new teeth and Elyssa's orthodontics. Sigh.

I'm moving far away from my time with God. I miss Him again. So where are my priorities? How to meet them when life gets in the way? I don't want to be so wrapped up in my life that I'm not living for Him.

And I miss my dog. We got his ashes back. I'm not ready to bury or sprinkle them. We have a little Hobbes shrine in the living room with his ashes in a cedar chest and his collar laid on top of it with a picture of him. Such a sweet dog. I still look for him or think about if he's keeping dry when it's raining while I'm at school. It takes a second to remember. . . . We will have to get another dog pretty soon. I miss having a dog here when I get home.

Thanks for letting me vent. I've got to sleep at some point!