When I'm not smack dab in the middle of Christ's love, the world gets a dreary for me. I assume it's that way for everyone else too - but maybe others are just better at hiding it than I am. People that don't believe in Christ at all - how can they seem so happy? My patience is shot. I yell at my dog. I get frustrated with Elyssa. My kids at school drive me crazy. I eat horribly and feel like crap. I don't exercise and life feels like it's spinning too fast for me to catch up. I don't write. My house gets messy.
My whole world falls apart!
I am going to make a concentrated effort to look for the joy in my life. I'm not looking for happy times so much as I want peaceful joy.
A blogger I know, Carlotta, wrote about feeling homesick. She explained how I feel so often - just out of place. Her last paragraph is where I want to find myself more. Realizing that the deep desire to be with God is not pointing out what's wrong with me, but rather what's right with me. I'm so quick to look at the dark and dreary side. I want to stop and smile as she does.
I'd like to write more. I want to write more. I need to write more. I just don't feel like I can catch up - but I'm not sure what I'm racing for. Does that make sense? I made my Christmas cards tonight and found the perfect verse to put on them. I'm going to leave you with that:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
3 comments:
Makes sense to me...I often wonder what in the heck I'm doing here on this planet and what my purpose is. I have DECIDED that I will never really figure it out unless He wants me to. I'll probably have to find that out later. In some ways I think unbelievers have an easier time rolling with the punches that this life delivers. Ignorance is bliss ya know? We tend to beat ourselves up when things are not going well (what have I done wrong? etc..). Unbelievers don't feel the disappointment of failing our Father and Savior I suppose. I do know that it IS possible to have hope in the worst circumstances and that hope and faith is the greatest of all things. Funny, I began to be delivered from those circumstances a few years ago and I got a bit greedy by comparing what I don't have to what others do have. I lost that faith and hope WHILE being delivered...I'm a greedy, competitive human being after all. Give me hope and faith over being outwardly perfect any day, because perfection on this planet is unattainable anyway.
For Erin & Lance, the greatest things are NOT faith & hope. Although they are huge for us, I Cor. 13 is clear that LOVE is greater. We MUST have faith & hope, MUST, but (behold the underlying truth) LOVE is the "crowning glory." Why? Because God, Himself, is LOVE. And, because Jesus was clear when asked about the most important commands coming from God, when He indicated there were 2, LOVE God, and LOVE others. For Erin, LOVE furiously. Love that dog, love your child (His "special" gift to you), love those students, love your friends, love your home, your car, love His word, love what you have, amd MOST importantly LOVE YOURSELF, because He does!
It took me many, long, despair-filled years to get to a place where I can stop and smile knowing that I am not created for this life. Do not get me wrong... some days the smile comes easier than others. Some days it is still a HUGE struggle. I am SO human. So, I feel your despair and I understand it. I've known it WELL. You are not alone in what you experience. BUT, please don't do as I have done and let it consume you.
Great verse to end your post with:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
YOU ARE LOVED!
Seek out that peaceful joy you mentioned. Sometimes it does not come crashing into our worlds... sometimes we have to go and search it out. But I know that it can be found.
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