Do you ever get to a place in your life where you know you need to be talking to God about your crap, but you aren't sure how to broach the subject with Him?
It's the weirdest feeling. I know I need to talk to Him. I know that He already knows what I need to talk about. But I'm just having a hard time doing it. It's so strange. It's like I know it in my head, but won't let go of my heart. I know He's there. But I don't let myself feel Him there.
I've been able to talk about it with a few friends. Here I am writing about it - kind of - no details on this one, sorry. But there's something holding me back from talking about it with God. I know the right thing to do, but I don't want to do the right thing. I want to do what I want to do. But I also don't want to abuse His grace. But I know what He'll say and I don't want to hear it. Not right now. Avoiding Him is not working out for me too well. Somehow He always pops up.
AUGH!
3 comments:
Been there...recently...just remember that the Bible tells us that we can BOLDLY approach His throne with CONFIDENCE.
He's also the best friend you'll ever had. And, unlike us humans who can "turn" conditional on you and freak out on you... He won't... He's the surest thing ever... steady, strong and able to handle whatever you have to throw His way. Confront Him... tell Him you're frustrated that He won't make the desire subside, nor will He provide you a healthy avenue of release... tell Him. He won't be shocked, surprised, angry, or offended... He'll be happy to help.
I've been careful lately to hold my tongue and simply pray for those people in my life who are struggling instead of spouting off what I think they need to hear. I've done that many times lately with you actually. But in this case...I must speak up. When we begin to shut God out of certain areas of our lives, and we do that by not communicating with HIm about them, those areas are the ones that become more and more "jacked up". When we become rebellious and refuse to submit to Him AND refuse to talk to Him about these things NOTHING good can come from it, NOTHING good. Going to Him and talking through what you are struggling with WILL help. Even if you struggle to find the words, even if you are embarrassed, or ashamed, or angry. Whatever it is...HE can handle it. I've thrown some moster "crap" at Him in the past and He was willing and able to handle it all...and much better than anyone else could. You are not hiding it from Him, you are simply not allowing Him to help you and bless you in the process. What a waste. And from experience, it is a train-wreck waiting to happen. Go to Him. He IS the best friend you'll EVER have.
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