Yep - today is my birthday. The big 36. I'm now on the downward slide to 40. I've been in a bad mood all day. What I thought I'd be doing at 40 is very different than what is probably going to be happening to me. And I don't like that. Yeah - I know - God has it all planned out. It'll all work out for good. He knows what's best for me.
Jesus says in John 16:23-24, "Truly, truly I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full." He later (or earlier?) restates it - that WHATEVER is asked will be given. My question - um - when does this happen? I've been doing some asking. I'm sure I'm just being selfish.
Did you know I was adopted? Do you think my birth mom every thinks about me on this day? Does she ever wonder what happened to me? Does she ever regret giving me up? Does she remember my birth father? I don't think he ever knew I existed. I never wonder about him. But my birth mom - does she remember me? Don't get me wrong - she's not my mom. My mom is my mom. But I get curious, especially on my birthday.
8 comments:
Happy birthday from Canary Island..
Maybe the far birthday greeting to you!
36 is a really great number!!! enjoy the day!
Kisses!
Happy Birthday!!!
Happy Birthday, sweetheart!!
She remembers you... and God remembers you and the desires of your heart. He's so complex, though, yes, He will give you what you ask for in His name, but He also looks at the preparedness of your heart - I'm not making a judgement call on the preparedness - I have no idea... I'm just pointing out that along WITH asking in His name, He also makes sure its the right time for you AND for whomever He's bringing into your life.... and there's the rub!
A LOT can happen in four years (before you turn 40 - you aren't there yet!!!). On my 30th birthday, I was on a career path I hated, in a dead end relationship with a guy who "loved" me one day and didn't know what "love" meant the next, I had alientated my friends, weighed 90 pounds, was depressed and by my 32 birthday, I got a "promise" necklace from the man I'd marry the next year - the one who's still too good to be true in my mind.
Hang in there my friend, you have come SO FAR! I love you! EVERY day, you're one day closer to the reality of your heart's desire.
I'm just being a whiny-baby. I shouldn't write when I'm like this.
Sorry.
Happy happy. I don't believe in chance and i don't believe in contradictions. That's all I'll say...have a ponderfest. :)
I've been pondering. I've reread my stuff and reread your comment. I can't make the connection. Feel like connecting the dots?
To answer your questions about your birth mom, quite likely yes. Read some of the birthmom blogs out there and see for yourself if you don't believe me.
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