Saturday, April 14, 2007

My List

Carlotta made a list of what she was looking for in a man. I just stumbled across my list and it makes me laugh a little bit. Partly because a lot of it at the beginning is just the opposite of my ex. It shows too, how I've changed and grown since 2003. Anyway - for your reading pleasure - don't laugh too much.
6/28/03
Funny
smart
family man
good money
great looking
strong
accepting
patient
forgiving
spiritual
prays with me
communicates
not nerdy
not much of a drinker
9/01/03
wants to go to the movies
reads for fun
loves my daughter
wants more kids
9/14/03
blond!
(Hayden Christensen - Episode 2 - my daughter watched this too much!)
wants to kiss me
1/17/04
bursting with integrity
completely unselfish
12/26/04
100% man of God
3/25/05
looks at me and smiles
smiles while kissing me
does what he promises
6/11/05
sings to me
6/15/06
sends me text messages

It's funny to read through. Interesting that there are not many physical qualities on my list. The physical good things didn't last for me last time. It's funny to think that the man of my dreams may be totally what I'm not expecting. I stopped adding to my list. I'm going to trust that God knows best.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

"It's funny to think that the man of my dreams may be totally what I'm not expecting." That's exactly the mindset I wish everyone had...to step away from the little box we create for our potential mates..and realize that God may have something we never expected. I think lists are good, in that there are some things that are MUSTS (the Godly things), but the package and the little details may not be what we would've imagined or planned. And that's kinda funny to think about.

Anonymous said...

Hello again,Erin!

I have to share... When my husband and first met, neither one of us were attracted to the other. However, it's not that either one of us was unattractive. We just became wonderful friends, helping each other through life's little ups and downs. We even gave each other dating advice! And... Randall even encouraged me to make my "list" of what I wanted in a man, and I did. Randall told me to be realistic, and not too expect perfection and 20-30 perfect qualities within one human man. As an example, he told me that looks wise, if you're not a Jennifer Aniston, don't expect to find a Brad Pitt. (Note: This was before the whole "Brangelina" thing.)

Anyway, one weekend he went out of town. We really missed each other. Then, God "flipped our switches." At the same time, we started feeling more than friendship for each other. Our relationship blossomed.

I found my list not too long ago. Although I didn't see it at the time, Randall fit everything on the list. And... I happened to be everything on Randall's list. (Must be a "Godcidence" because we truly never saw that it could be each other.) At the top of my list was a true relationship with God. (As long as you have that, there is a great possiblity of everything else falling into place.) I also had "sense of humor, good with my son, and instead of makes good money, I had "financially stable." My list was realistic and therefore, I was able to find someone who could actually fullfill what I needed. I also realized that just because I had this "list," it didn't mean that a man had to have every little thing. However, it did show me what I found to be important. And most of all, it was realistic.

And keep in mind too, that when that right person comes along, God will be working in both of your hearts. He may "flip your switch" and you might be attracted to someone who is totally different than what you've imagined in your head. Just put your desires in His hands. I promise... He will take good care of you and you can be happier than you ever thought possible. You do have to give Him the control though. And I know... that is HARD to do. Just don't be in a rush. There may be important things that you still have to learn. Before you can have a healthy relationship, you have to be a healthy individual. Just take the time and let God mold you into the best that you can be. In the end, it will be worth it!

Anonymous said...

Actually, I just read your original post again. It sounds like you are already on the right track, realizing that God may have something totally different in store for you that what you expect. Growth... ain't it great?

Erin said...

Kay - thanks for sharing more of your story. It gives me hope.

I need to be reminded (as I have been this weekend) that I've got issues and am not ready. Thankfully God knows that already and has kept me safe from myself.

Emily H. said...

Is there any man out there with these standards or qualities? I have looked far and wide for a man of God, a man who is a believer, a man who loves me for who I am. And yet, I still haven't found him. I know people may think I am young, but let me tell you., boys in my world are manner less and are rude, they do not believe, as I do,nor do they like me for who I am. I loved reading this list,I love your blog,continue writing.

Erin said...

Emily - it's amazing when someone finds my old blog. Let me tell you - great men are out there. You have to decide if you are going to wait or settle. I wrote this in 2007. It's been 10 years!! I've now been married for 4 years. My husband doesn't meet every quality on this list, but he does meet most of them. Which blows me away. He is a man of God and I think that's the most important thing. I would not settle. I waited (with lots of tears). I reached out to God. I learned to lean on him. And He brought Johnny my way. And Johnny was worth waiting for. Hugs to you! Maybe I will sit down and write again.