Bad Mood

I've been in such a mood the last few days. I couldn't figure it out. Now I know why I was psycho freak! I was taking my meds this afternoon (yeah - meds - ha! - you always knew I was a crazy person!) and realized somewhere in the last few days I totally forgot to take them. I took Monday's meds today. Ahhh - that explains it. Of course I did have to stop and think - what is today? Is it Monday? Or is it Tuesday? (I just LOVE being a teacher!) It's just vitamins and allergy and - oh yeah my anti-depressant. Now all you Tom Cruise wanna-bes can be mad at me taking something. I don't care. I guess you'll just have to stop reading. So sad for you. Trust me when I say - life is much better when I'm taking something. (Yeah - now you really think I'm nuts.)

This is what happened prior to realizing I hadn't taken my medicine. My dad called and asked me to get on the web and find out how to get rid of those webworm things that get in your trees. I asked him why - was he having lots of issues with them? He asked when was the last time I looked in my backyard. I told him I hate my backyard so I try to never look back there. There's not enough grass. It's just ugly. I peeked out my back door - holy crap! It looked like gigantor spiders had invaded my trees. I started to cry. I told my dad it is never ending! I'm trying so hard to clean up the inside of my house - get Elyssa's room and the game room organized and clean out the poop that has accumulated in our house. (Not real poop!) And the outside is totally falling apart too. I hate doing it all by myself.

The front of my house looks horrible - so unloved. I need to get a new fence. I need the siding repaired on my house. I need grass in the back yard and I want a deck. I have 3 trees that I want cut down. I totally whacked all my bushes down out front, so now I need to get the stumps out of my flower beds. I need my flower beds dug up and expanded. I need to paint furniture for Elyssa's room. I need to hang shelves in her room and in the game room. I need to organize the office.

Then I think about all the people who don't even have houses and wonder why I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. Why am I focusing on the negative so much lately? How do I switch it back to focusing on the positive? I know part of it is that I haven't spent much time with God lately. Life doesn't work with out Him - but here I am trying yet again to do it all on my own. Have I prayed for any of that stuff that's worrying me? Of course not. I did pray for a fence - once - many weeks ago.

Wow - I love writing here. I love how it clears out the crap in my head and helps me realize what's important. God ~ help me to focus on what is right - You. Only You.

Reader ~ thanks for listening to my rant.