Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common senseThis song struck me today. I was going to pick up Elyssa and chose Casting Crowns because I knew I needed spiritual lifting.
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle.
But will we trade our dreams for His?I asked God to show me His dream for me because my dreams weren't going the way I thought they should. I'm bothered by my last few posts. Yeah, I'm hurting but I am so fortunate compared to a lot of people. When do I stop being so selfish? How do you reconcile your own hurt (that it's OK to hurt) without being lost in it? I'm struggling to find the middle-ground without being caught in the middle.
I'm concerned about putting my hurt out there - you catch a glimpse of it in some of my writing. Did you know it was just a glimpse? But it seems like every time I do this (write when I'm in extreme pain) I hurt someone with how I feel. I've done it to Christy and I've done it to Karen (although that was in email not blogging). My counselor wants me to let it all out but who is ready to withstand that storm?
6 comments:
For whatever reasons, I read all your blogs. For whatever reasons, I love storms. Your thoughts mirror many of ours, but not everybody has the guts to write about those storms (thoughts)like you do. I find your blogs most interesting...even the Star Wars stuff! Blog on!
Thanks Lance. I really needed to hear that from someone I didn't know was reading.
From someone you know is reading every blog you write. Years ago I traded my dreams for His. Best trade I ever have or ever will make. His dreams are greater (not even close) than mine, His dreams make me stretch, His dreams become reality, He sees what I cannot, and His dreams are eternal, my life with Him, no fear! Trade up!
Sharing is tough many times, but most certainly worth it. I believe it will help you and I KNOW it helps others who read. You share what many other cannot or will not, but many people CAN relate to what you are going through in some way or another. I love that you share with us who read your blog faithfully. I love the depth in which you share, but realize it is just a glimpse. Give us the storm if you want to or need to. We can weather it with you. Those of us that I know personally who read here (at least 5 people), would be honored to weather the storm with you. That's what friends do.
Never be afraid to put your thoughts out there..when I was hurt by what you said, you and I discussed it and it turns out that I misunderstood your intent. That will happen when you weather a storm together and when you are speaking from a place of sincere and strong emotion - and the bottom line was, there was no anger on either side, no defensiveness and no ill will. There was a coming together of two friends with a lot of love and both sides with the intent to cause understanding and healing for the other. "Speak the truth in love". Your friends CAN weather this stuff with you - and we do. This is a hurtful time in your life and you have to explore that. Those of us who love you will call out things that SEEM misguided or whatever else, but it will always be done with love and with the assumption that we are here for each other. And, not in anger or judgement. I love the friends that you have on this blog - I've rarely seen so much support and genuine concern and we are all high emotion, high prayer and high energy for wanting to see you heal. But, don't worry about the misunderstandings - love is WAY bigger than that.
Thanks you guys. I really appreciate the encouragement.
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