And on a totally different subject, but related by sadness, I took Elyssa to meet her new baby brother today. This is her dad and his wife's second child. It was much harder for me than I thought it would be. I am having a hard time keeping in the tears. It's just weird watching how the two of them (dad and step-mom) interact. They seem very emotionally connected and are experiencing the things I want most desperately. It is hard to watch. Not that I miss it with him, but he was not so emotionally connected to Elyssa and me. There was always some distance. I think because he was already connected to the now wife at that time too. The baby - a boy - is very beautiful. It hurts. Watching him play with his 1 1/2 year old is hard too and even how he talks to his mom-in-law. Of course, it's all just outward appearances that I'm seeing. But . . . it is very hard to see. It makes me very sad. And I don't want to be sad because of him anymore.
On to the point of my post: During home group last weekend, I was asked to write about how God sees me - what I look like to Him through His eyes. I couldn't do it. I struggle to see myself through His eyes. I, of course, got teary and shut down - wouldn't talk about it any more. When I told my counselor, she said that my homework this week is to write about how God's sees me. She said I have to give her a detailed list, so I started it last night. Then I got this devotional this morning from a friend who sends them on when they really speak to her. It is amazing what God uses to get His point across.
God's Masterpiece.
How precious and priceless you are. I made you with exquisite design and fashion. You are so beautiful and delightfully pleasant to behold. I would not change a single thing about you. To see you, hear your voice or to receive you prayers and intercessions, bring Me exquisite pleasure I cannot fully describe. Joy floods My being when I think of you. Knowing the plans I have for you excites Me. Just keep being you and that will be enough. My love for you is vaster than the universe, higher than the tallest mountain and deeper than the largest sea. I do hope you understand. God's Masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago."
You are discouraged with where you are. It is in your eyes and the way you carry yourself, and of course I know what's in your heart. I see what your closest friends and family do not know. You don't want anyone to know how low you're feeling, thinking you should be more mature. You wonder if you will ever get to the place of victory. Do not entertain those thoughts. Ask Me to cleanse your heart and mind. Set your mind on good things your heart will follow. Center your thoughts on Me. I have such good plans and blessings for you. Trust in Me and you will get there. Psalms 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Bev & Ras Robinson
3 comments:
Reading what they have written tell me that they are in that special place, IN CHRIST. They have devoted their life and time and interest to the things that will build them up and set them free, IN CHRIST. I HIGHLY recommend the same thing for you, set you mind (all day, everyday) on things that will lift you up. Remember His plans are there, but He will NOT put you there, He will ONLY help and give you strength and power, IN CHRIST. ALL DAY, EVERY DAY!
You are a masterpiece. Hopefully this reminder sinks in.
As for the sadness with the new baby brother...I get it. I went through the same emotions when I took my Lizard to meet her new baby sister a few years ago. I understand you aren't sad that he has that with another woman, but the emotions are there nonetheless. You are normal. Trust me. If you want to talk, I'm a phone call away.
Love ya, girl.
You are wonderfully made. You are His child. You are given His Spirit. You are loved so much your imagination cannot even comprehend. I remember taking my kids to see their new step-brother. Such mixed emotions. You are in my prayers sweet friend.
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