God's Tempest

You know, when God wants me to hear something, He really slams me. Over and over. It's like how I continuously ask the same questions over and over. Or how I pray for the same problem over and over. God does the same thing to me. Is that an answer? It's OK for me to pray about myself? I can't do it too much? What do you want from me, God?

Reading some more in C. S. Lewis' anthology of George MacDonald's writing:

Cares
With every haunting then, great or small, the loss of thousands or the lack of a shilling, go to God. . . . If your trouble is such that you cannot appeal to Him, the more need you should appeal to Him!

God at the Door
Nor will God force any door to enter in. He may send a tempest about the house; the wind of His admonishment may burst doors and windows, yea, shake the house to its foundations; but not then, not so, will He enter. The door must be opened by the willing hand, ere the foot of Love will cross the threshold. He watches to see the door move from within. Every tempest is but an assault in the siege of Love. The terror of God is but the other side of His love; it is love outside that would be inside - love that knows the house is no house, only a place, until it enter.

Are you saying I haven't really let You in God? You've got to keep shaking my core - breaking my house - breaking my heart - until I open the door for You? How do I do it for real then? I thought I was doing it. What do you want from me God? I'll do anything. Just tell me. What can I do? I want You to take over my house. Tell me how.