- I stopped at a gas station to make the trade. He told me the restaurant Mi Cocina, but I forgot and just went to the Northeast Corner where there is a Texaco. We're now white trash because we made a switch at a gas station. I actually heard him mumbling that as he walked around his car. He was truly looking around to see if anyone was watching him.
- I bought Elyssa a new coat and hat. They don't match. The coat is a black, pink and white plaid. The hat is white with a light blue deer on it. Elyssa picked it out. She loved the hat and I didn't think it really mattered. We are white trash because our hats don't match our coats.
- I haven't bought her all brand name clothes. I got stuff at Target.
- I don't feel really well so I was kind of just shoving stuff in her bag. I let him know that I'm not sure if I put enough shirts in - I think I put more pants in, but I figured they would have some stuff. I also couldn't find her black soccer shorts. I asked if they were maybe left over there. I told him that I stuck her blue ones in and would look for her black ones and bring them to the game. I couldn't quite catch what he was mumbling under his breath but it had to do with never matching and not caring what our daughter looks like.
I can't wait to meet a man who will take pleasure in making me feel beautiful, smart, loved and safe. I think I'll have a hard time believing that he's for real. In fact, I have a hard time believing that will ever happen. Are there really men out there like that? Or maybe better said as - is there really a man out there who will do that for me?
3 comments:
Answers to your questions: YES!
A post thought here - I KNOW you know this intellectually, but do you know it EMOTIONALLY? The way Anthony treats you - does NOT define YOU, it defines HIM... its not a reflection on you.. its HIM - HE failed YOU by not honoring the vow he made before God and everyone (including me) in the church that day... for whatever screwed up reason, he feels empowered by making you feel "small" and I would imagine that you aren't the only person he treats that way because its a trait of HIS, not reaction to who you are. Who in the WORLD is HE to even attempt define YOU? It just makes me angry - you are God's creation, God's heart's delight, His DAUGHTER - He loves you MORE than you can or will EVER love Elyssa if you can even imagine that... so, who the heck is Anthony Gibson to squash the value that God inherently built into you the day He created you before you took your first breath. The creator of the universe whispers to YOU, loves YOU, prepares a place for YOU in Heaven, knows your every thought, weakness, fear and failure and He thought you were worth DYING for... Anthony Gibson is far less credible than the maker and knower of EVERYTHING...
(sorry, I'm a little upset!)
Wow, Christy, I should give you his email! :-) Or get you together with my friend Robin. She's ready to tear into him too. I would love to see the two of you corner him in a room. THAT would be fun!
I used to let him define me. I was a doormat. I didn't know that at the time, but I do know it now. That is no longer the case - at least I hope not. I might be like one little blade from the fake green grass doormat. You know the one I'm talking about? With the fake daisy on it? (No, I don't have one!) I worry about other people's happiness too much sometimes.
He absolutely doesn't define me - never did - never will. I know that now. He defines himself, which is awesome in a way. I know the traits I don't want to have in any man in my life.
My mom worries. She says you always pick out the same kind of guy. I disagree. I've seen so many amazing examples of the type of man I want - awesome Christian men. Joining the married class at Prestonwood was perfect for me for that reason alone. So, even though none of those men have been available for me, I think God's using them to show me what to look for. Wait . . . you're the one who told me that one. Remember?
I'm so glad you're in my corner. I love you!
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