Overflowing Emotions

I've spent the last hour with God. Lots of tears. Lots of giving up. But I'm better. I started making a list of 5 things I am thankful for today. One was the sound of rain. Another was (and this is going to embarrass me) for men who make phone calls the day after meeting someone instead of waiting for however many "appropriate" days so as to seem . . . whatever you guys think waiting seems to mean. My third was for the fact that God forgives my sin - because darn it all, am I struggling with something. My fourth was for love - my daughter's, my dog's (he came quickly to sit by me when he heard me crying) and my future husband's (because yes, I'm going to be optimistic. I'm so ready to love him.) My fifth thing to be thankful for has to do with thunder.

I remembered something about our drive home from school. It was raining. We were sitting at a red light and I was staring off into the distance, listening to Jeremy Camp on the radio. Some lightning streaked through the sky. It was beautiful. I knew it was close by, but wasn't prepared for the crack of thunder that followed. It was so loud and strong it shook the car! It scared Elyssa and me a little.

Tonight I was thinking about how I want God to be in control of everything. I remembered the lightning and thunder. God is in control of that. He controls the beauty of the lightning. He controls the amazing power of the lightning. He controls the sound of thunder. He knew where and when and how it would happen. How small am I compared to those? How strong is God?

Please God - control me the same way.